Lifestyle

Three Months After Becoming a Widow at 79, She Noticed Something Unexpected: “I Like Being Alone”

By Erica Coleman · November 8, 2026

She set up a camera by the fireplace with a cup of coffee in her hand and admitted she did not quite know what she was doing with the lighting. Then she introduced herself to the women she hoped would be watching.

“Hello, ladies. My name is Sandy Lee Brown, or Sandra Lee Brown, if you like,” she says in an April 2022 video on her YouTube channel, now called Coffee With Sandra (@Sandrabrownhappinesspast60). Her next words explain why she was there. “I’m a new widow. Been about three months now.”

At the time, she was living by herself with her dog, Maggie.

She shares the whole conversation in her video on YouTube.

Sandy is careful not to speak for every widow. She says no one knows exactly how another person feels, because grief depends on the marriage and on the personality. “I’m 79 years old,” she says, and she has walked through a lot of grief in her life, as most people have by that age. Her view is that it will not kill you, depending on what you do with it.

She also admits she had been avoiding some of the grieving. Then she shares the surprise at the center of the video. Only three months in, she says, she was already finding something out about herself. “I like being alone.”

She does not say it as a complaint about marriage. She describes loving her husband, and she talks about caring for him at home for about two years while he lived with dementia, much of it during the pandemic lockdown with no help. She says she does not know that she ever wants to marry again, though she will not say never. What she would like is simpler: someone from church to have breakfast with after Sunday services, a summer craft show, a walk, a phone call in the evening.

She is also building a life around her friends. She says she made a list of friends she had not seen in a while and has been working her way down it, inviting them to breakfast. She went back to church and joined small groups and a monthly lunch for seniors.

Her faith runs through the video, and she closes by telling other widows they will get through this.

The National Institute on Aging’s page on coping with grief and loss backs up her point that there is no single way to feel. “There are no rules about how you should feel,” NIA says. “There is no right or wrong way to mourn.” NIA also notes that facing the future without a spouse can be scary, especially for those who have never lived alone, and that people who are widowed and retired may feel very lonely and become depressed. Its advice is to talk with your doctor about how you are feeling.

NIA draws a distinction on its page about loneliness and social isolation that fits Sandy’s discovery. “You can live alone and not feel lonely or socially isolated,” it says, “and you can feel lonely while being with other people.”

A few things readers in her place might consider:

Who is on your list? Sandy wrote down friends she missed and started calling.

Where do you already belong? For her, it was church groups and a seniors lunch. For others it may be a club, a class or a senior center.

How are you really doing? If sadness makes daily life hard, NIA suggests a support group, a mental health professional or loved ones.

Her experience is her own. But her early discovery is a reminder that time alone after a loss does not have to mean loneliness.

This article is for general information and is not medical advice. This article was produced with the assistance of AI and fact-checked against the sources cited by LightWave Reports.